The Last Buggering Kilo, Introducing a Koala and the Proof in the Fat Free Pudding!

Wow - what a whirlwind it has been!  Following yet another in a long line of self-pity parties after the previous weigh-in I bucked up a bit and went on a mission - I had two weeks to lose 1kg and was bloody determined to do what it took. I know it sounds like an easy peasy task, but let me tell you - not so much hey!  All jokes about laxatives aside, without going to extremes as far as eating was concerned, I was battling to lose even a few hundred grams - I have developed a fair amount of muscle and definition and although I still have a way to go before I am completely happy with my figure, I don't have quite as much to lose anymore, which actually makes it harder to lose!

So for two weeks I trained, and mostly behaved (aside for a delicious red velvet cupcake at work one beautiful Friday morning), occasionally braving the scale, only to see a few grams difference, or no change at all.  I was pretty caught up in work events and planning my birthday and didn't really have too much time to dwell on the remaining 1kg. Ok so maybe that's a little bit of a lie - I lay awake in bed, around 4am most mornings, thinking.  Dwelling.  Not just about weight but other stuff too.  I had put loads of pressure on myself around my party, what I was going to wear, whether I would look ok in it, blah blah blah. I had made such a hoohaa (not that kind of hoohaa people, the other kind!) about the weight loss and I knew people were going to be expecting a rake thin skinny chick.  I am not that chick.

And then along came tattoo day - and it was AWESOME!  Loved every single second of every single needle prick. Here it is!

Outline done

Finished product

I am very pleased with the way it came out and even though it is currently at the itchy, peely stage (sexy right?), I keep wanting to show it off - even checking out strangers and waiting for them to make eye contact just so I can say "hey, wanna see my tattoo?"!  ;)

The last week saw me pushing myself beyond sanity on the stupid elliptical machine and the treadmill, doing interval running, squats, lunges, crunches - anything to push me past the 18kg mark!  Divine put me through my paces with much enthusiasm, even though he spoilt me with two boxing sessions in one week, which are my absolute favourite! Leroy - coffee maker extraordinaire - kept me standing and vaguely sane by making sure I had a cup of kickarse black coffee waiting after each session! Team work people, let me tell you!

And then Friday dawned - as Fridays do. I stood facing the scale, trying to decide whether or not I was going to get on.  I had pretty much made peace with the fact that, if I hadn't lost the remaining 1kg, I would be ok with it.  But what if I had?  What if the hard work had actually paid off?  What if my goal had been achieved? Apparently I am somewhat of a sadist!  I gingerly stepped onto the scale and waited for the numbers to stop moving - it took me a few seconds to register, but when it did I gave a loud whoop!  I had managed, somehow, to lose a total of 18.1kg - with literally HOURS left before my birthday!  I was so proud of myself!  I have no measurements to share because official measurements only happen every 3 weeks, but let me break it down for you:

4.2kg

4.6kg

3.2kg

And just to shake things up a bit, I have removed the poor old pissed off cat and replaced it with a 6kg koala chilling on a log!

So maybe the time has come, my wonderfully patient friends, to share with you the "before" picture and the "right now" picture. I am not going to say "after" yet, because I am still very much a work in progress.  But right here and right now is where I am.

Before:

Here and now:

So with that goal achieved, it was time to party. And party we did!  Until it wasn't my birthday anymore!  It was loads of fun but I am honestly so glad it's over!  Now I can get down to the part of being all grown up and respectable.  Ok .... stop laughing ..... maybe not so much of the respectable but, let's face it, I am all grown up!

It was interesting going to gym on Monday with no plan in mind, no goal in place.  We have now changed that situation and set a reasonable and hopefully attainable goal of 20kg by Christmas.  I work better with goals - something to set my sights on and work towards.

And on that note, you guys are awesome, I love you and I wish you all happy and hairy Movember!

T
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The Tummy, The Tattoo and the Road to Ms October

Ok, so it's been a while.  Belly solly :(  Things have been kinda hectic at work and home, and finding the time to write has been a challenge.  Also - and this seems to be even more of an issue - I have had very little of interest to share with you lately.  I have been working hard at gym, gearing up to D Day, or B Day I guess, and falling off the eating wagon with alarming regularity.  Oh well.

The first weekend post-weigh in Steve and I headed off to Clanwilliam for a few days.  It would have been entirely unreasonable to have expected me to only drink light wine and eat salad, right?  So Olmeca Chocolate Tequila and plates full of yummy buffet it was!  Tough life right?

I then spent the following week trying to convince my body - through major sweating and working out - that it had not in fact ingested vast quantities of sugary alcohol and stodgy food. You would think I learnt my lesson right?  Nope!  The next weekend I was invited to my mom for dinner  - I don't even know why I should say anything more. It would simply be rude to pick at your food, or insist on salad, if you have a mom who can cook like mine.  Also it would cause her to worry about my health and wellbeing and I would hate to be responsible for causing her unnecessary stress.  So I ate. What was a girl to do?  Oxtail - lots of it.  It was amazing!!  There followed a disastrous lapse in judgment and I hoofed myself onto the scale that Monday!  Horror of horrors (because apparently this was a huge surprise to me), I had put on a kilo!  Pffft!  What. Ever. In an attempt to undo the done, Divine put me through some serious workouts that and the next week.  I think that he is also feeling the time crunch in terms of goals and my birthday and whatnot and appears to be adamant that my tummy will be a solid mass of muscle and definition.  I suppose one should aspire to reach great heights, but really, let's be realistic.  We have years and years and years of neglect and bad eating habits to turn around.  Not gonna happen over night - or even over four months!

What Divine wants!

VERSUS

This is a little extreme - ok a lot extreme - but you get my point right?

What I have done to remind myself to keep on pushing forward though is to book a tattoo for this coming Sunday - 14th October.  It's only my second tattoo - I am still a newbie - but it's an important one.  I wanted to get something different and interesting and deep and shit, and in the end (to the everlasting delight of the poor tattoo artist, I'm sure), I have chosen a butterfly.  Before you scoff too loudly, it is not the normal butterfly.  It is a Celtic butterfly and its meaning is important - INSPIRATION, TRANSFORMATION AND REBIRTH.  Clearly it was a no-brainer.  I have been inspired, transformed and sorta rebirthed!  Here it is.  Pretty hey?

Initially I was going to have it on the inside of my upper arm but then, thanks to Damon and Diane making snarky comments about how the wings of the damn thing would become extended as I got older, and how, in time and as my arm "wings" get woggly with age, the buggering thing would flap all by itself, I decided to position it on the top of my spine, just below my neck! No woggle there!

So with two weeks to go before the B Day, there was bound to be a weigh in to screw up my fun.    There I stood this morning, in the consultation room at the gym, while Divine measured all my bits.  And there I stood, my eyes literally brimming with tears, as he told me that the measurements were pretty much exactly the same - despite all the work that I have put in over the last 3 weeks. The only positive - sort of - was that I have lost another kilogram, bringing me to 17kg in total.

4.6kg

3.2kg

2 x hawaiian geese: 4.2kg

4kg pissed off cat

A 1kg hamster to feed to the pissed off cat!

I am incredibly disappointed, I won't lie.  I wanted to be at an 18kg loss by today and really expected more substantial changes in my measurements.  Poor Divine - he saw how disappointed I was, and did his best to make me feel better, going on about how I am doing really well, I am working hard, that it's a great thing that I haven't gained any weight, that the measurements are "off" because I am now gaining definition, toning and muscles are showing and such like bilge.  Didn't help.  I am still gutted that I didn't have a better result.  I have another two weeks to go before the deadline, so I will try lose that elusive mother flowering kilo by then. Yes I am being hard on myself.  No I won't cut myself any slack.  Yes I know that these things take time.  I don't care.  I want the result.

Oh, and you may remember that I previously mentioned that I had had my picture taken at gym?  Well it turns out I have, at my vast age, finally cracked the nod and become Ms October!  Ok, so it's not a Playboy cover shoot, but I am Member of the Month at Planet Fitness Plattekloof.  Yay me!   And we all know how much I hate being the centre of any positive attention right? How much I detest the spotlight being shone on me?  Try not to fall off your chair laughing, and also, just so you know, snorting with derision gives you wrinkles!

Now that I have officially bi-polared the hell out of this update, I will sign off with the following: perhaps it is time I kicked myself in my well rounded arse, and try to live by the words of the always worthwhile Seether:

"I'm not going to waste this

This opportunity's mine

I'm sick of complaining

About a beautiful life".  

Ring-a-ding-ding people, let's do this!!
T
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