The Goose, The Sword and the Springbokkie

Another two weeks and another blog entry.  It seems that I am currently living from weigh in to weigh in.  It is because of this single-minded focus that I have decided, upon reaching a weight loss I am happy with - whether it be after 15kg, 16.367kg, 18kg or 19.52kg, depending on how I feel at the time - I will stop stressing.  I will stop dreading Monday weigh in.  I will stop counting the 21 days between each D day and I will cut myself a little more slack.  I will still train.  I will still eat properly.  I will still work hard.  But I will no longer beat myself up if I haven't lost a centimetre or a gram.  I will, more than likely, not blog a whole hell of a lot at that stage either - but then the whole point of this blog has always been to serve as a means to put my journey into words, to basically journal my experience and to share the fun, the pain and the drama.  No drama, no need to share right?

However - that is not today.  Today I still have stuff to say.

The past two weeks have followed in the same pattern as every other two weeks - the occasional dive off the wagon (the most notable of which included Springbokkies - I am nothing if not patriotic - which has resulted in my body showing its displeasure by producing an adolescent-esque skin breakout of note!), loads of training with much boxing (and in fact now incorporating kicking so it's no longer boxing, but more kickboxing type of stuff), buckets of cardio, eating more or less ok (lots of salads, fruit and smaller portions) and basically just living my life. So what, if anything, happened which was notable?  Well there was a bit of a party (referred to fleetingly above in terms of Springbokkies) but nothing that happened there shall be discussed on this very public forum!  Then there was a road trip to Franschhoek - of zero relevance to my weight loss; there was a comedy festival at which my very talented son (clearly hereditary) was a mime (not hereditary, since keeping quiet is not one of my many skills) - also of zero relevance to weight loss; and that was pretty much that.

The Sunday before weigh in I went to gym in a last desperate attempt to ensure another gram or two was lost.  And people you have to understand how panicked I was - I did burpees on purpose (5 sets of 10), and skipping, and abs and 30 solid minutes on the stupid elliptical crosstrainer thing, alternating between going backwards and forwards.  Have you ever seen someone go backwards on that machine - a laugh a second, let me tell you!

And then Monday arrived.  Details follow.  Yes I know I am repeating myself, but just in case you missed all my other ramblings, the figures I figure are total loss :

Weight: - 13.9kg (a mere 1.1kg from the (adjusted) goal of 15kg, and 4.1kg from (Divine's further adjusted) target of 18kg by my birthday).

Chest: - 8.7cm (only 0.5cm less than last time, but hey, it's a loss!)
Upper arm:  -3.1cm (also 0.5cm less than last time, but hey (say it with me ....), it's a loss!)
Waist: After the initial measurement around my shirt which indicated a minor gain, I hoiked up my shirt (I know, I have no shame!) and insisted Divine measure again!  Remember last time I had actually gained 0.01cm on my waist?  This time the measurements told a whole different story! Between last time and this time, there was a loss of 4.1cm, giving a total loss around the tummy of 19.8cm.  Nineteen point eight frikking centimetres people.
Hips: - 17.7cm.  Let me just bask in the glorious glow of this figure.  Best. Measurement. Ever.  My arse is a shadow of it's former self.  Ok so maybe that's overstating somewhat but guys, seriously?  How much of lekker is that figure?
Thigh: -7.6cm.  So very proud of this figure.  Only 0.8cm less than last time, but hey, it's a loss! ;)
Calf:  -2.1cm.  A loss of 0.4cm since last time - but hey ....hahah! No really though, hilly calves, pay attention, so I am quite happy!

If we are talking in visuals (which of course is what we do), this is where we are at:

2 x puppies (2.3kg each) = 4.6kg

2 x bunnies = 3.2kg

1 x pissed off 4kg cat

1 x Hawaiian Goose = 2.1kg

And keeping in line with the visual aspect, thanks to something a wise(ish) African in the Netherlands had to say after my last blog (yes Craig, that's you!), I thought it might be fun to add all the centimetres together and see what we have:

59cm!

This sword (really?  A sword) is 59cm long!

So to recap, I have lost 2 puppies, 2 bunny rabbits, 1 pissed off cat and a Hawaiian Goose. And a kick arse sword!

With 54 days to go before my birthday, I reckon that unless I completely fall off the wagon and eat a bakery or a small child, I am on track to do what I set out to do.

And on that note, I am going in search of something yummy .....

T
x

Two sucky Mondays and proof of my idiocy

Weigh in Monday continued in its normal horrific Mondayness manner - with Divine destroying me at every turn, putting me through a fitness test of note.  But when it was done, it was done.  My hardest training day of the week was over.  Or so I thought.  On arrival at gym on Tuesday morning, Divine's first words to me were to the effect that "today you die". Nice right?  And he was not joking.  At one point the Hitman had me doing lunges whilst lifting kettle bells over my head at the same time - cos clearly lunges on their own are not shitty enough.  If there weren't so many witnesses around I would have clobbered him upside the head with a kettle bell and escaped!  Pffft!  By the time Tuesday afternoon arrived my body was feeling the after-effects of the two sessions and I was doing my George Burns impression again! Wednesday I trained on my own, and Thursday was a boxing session.  As promised, the links to a few very short video clips follow.  I have to prepare you though - I had (very fleetingly) considered making myself a little more camera ready but then I thought screw it, it is not a fashion shoot.  So be warned - sweaty, red faced, dead sexy hairstyle, the works! Haters gonna hate! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prSlgde8zIE&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJmOH49p5i4&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNXdzFlvqY8&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-zNkQSA5B0&feature=plcp

There's more but it's pretty much the same of the same.  If you really feel like relieving your Monday blues,  the channel is tracygreen1000 - feel free to browse and laugh and point your finger!

Anyway, moving swiftly on.  Seriously.  Stop laughing - it's just rude! :P

Thursday was a huge day of rock at Grand West - 8 odd hours of singing (to the point of hoarseness), drinking nothing even remotely low in calories, eating pizza (boy was I sorry about that), and spending time with the most wonderful people in the world!  And that is all I have to say on this subject.

Damon and I at the start of a looooong night of rock!

Friday was not easy.  I set three goals for myself - get out of bed, shower, get to work.  That's it.  I accomplished all of these goals - barely - and made it through the day - barely.  By the time I got home, I was good and ready to settle down on the couch under a blanket and read. The rest of the weekend followed in more or less the same vein - not doing anything too strenuous and zero training.  By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around I was having serious gym withdrawals! Luckily sanity prevailed, and with the assistance of a glass of wine I managed to get over it quick smart!

Unfortunately Monday came around with its irritating regularity, allowing Divine to punish me for 3 days of sloth-like behaviour.  He pushed me through suicides, burpees, squats and the rest of their sadistic friends.  I could not finish the workout - in fact thought I might upchuck all over the aerobic studio's floor - and it took me ages to recover.  Just when I think I am getting a handle on this kak, Divine whacks me with more!

T
x

A bowl of bitchy and the power of words

Wow what a week of ups and downs this has been.  Following my post last week I was on a high which lasted all the way to Thursday morning.  Divine and I did some boxing on Tuesday which was great - we even got a video clip of it (in which I looked like a complete doos, let me just say!).  However as Newton or some such bright spark said, what goes up must come down.  And boy did my mood come crashing down on Thursday!  Gosh! Divine was sick and had to miss our training session, leaving me to do my thing by myself - which in ordinary circumstances would have been hunky dory, but I wasn't particularly motivated.  I then made the horrid mistake of giving in and getting on the scale after training.  I am so frustrated I cannot even tell you!  Details will follow later!  Yes I know that I started off quickly and it had to plateau at some point.  Yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  Yes I know that it was bound to happen and I even said in previous posts that it was coming.  Yes I know all of this, but patience is not my strongest virtue and I want results and I want them right frikking now.  I had trained 10 out of the previous 14 days.  Hard.  I had also been really good about eating properly (except for one little cupcake.  Ok fine, and a bloody birthday donut.  But I really can't always say no thank you - and if two little cheats are going to reverse this whole process then I am going to end up a basket case!).  Although I am allowed 3 cheat meals a week, I have literally been averaging 1.  One.  Uno.  And then I end up so riddled with guilt that I skip until I can't anymore. So excuse me for being a grumpy bitch about this.

So on Thursday, and feeling decidedly out of sorts, I took a walk to the shop in search of solace.  And where does a woman find solace?  In chocolate.  Stop making groaning noises.  Immediately! I ended up buying a "diet" chocolate.  Worst R8.99 I have spent. Ever.  It tasted like that old budget chocolate Easter egg you hid in your undie drawer as a kid and forgot about until you moved out years later and, muttering to yourself "chocolate doesn't go off, nom nom nom", you gobble it all up.  And then end up dry heaving over the loo. Yeah, like that.  Don't. Do. It.

Friday was honestly even worse.  Steve worked until 3AM so I took the kids to school - meaning no gym.  The sacrifices one has to make! Geez! My mood was horrid.  Talk about drowning in self-pity! Time to get the hell over myself and deal!

Friday night included a moderate intake of wine and tequila - elevating my mood hugely! :D  And luckily the rest of the weekend was also pretty good.  On Sunday I went to gym, to make up for the Friday missed session.  Something which really appealed to me - and which made hitting the gym on a Sunday morning totally worthwhile - were the words I saw on a fellow lunatic's shirt:  STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY.  I know right?  How brilliant is that! I have absolutely got to get myself a t-shirt with this on. Love love love it!

So taking these words to heart, I am going to make a concerted effort to change my crappy attitude and my ridiculous expectations regarding results.  When complaining about the "lack" of results, my bright spark colleague, Debbie, piped up, "Now you are just being greedy". And perhaps she is right. On Sunday evening I decided, over a glass of wine, that come Monday weigh-in, whatever the results are, it's fine.  I know I am working really hard and, if the results don't change or even go up, then, quite frankly, oh well!

And all too soon Monday, the bitch, hit with a bang! The results are as follows (just a reminder that I am giving you total results from first weigh in to now simply because it makes me feel better!)

Weight:  - 12.1kg (a loss I can indeed smile about).

Chest: - 8.2cm (a perfectly respectable loss of back wobble and, unfortunately, boob)

Upper arm: - 2.6cm (which is a fabulous 1.1cm less than 3 weeks ago.  Soon I will have to rely on Red Bull to give me wings!)

Waist: - 15.7cm (yes, for those sparky people paying attention that is in fact a gain of .1cm.  Must be the cupcake!) 

Thigh:  - 6.8cm (this figure still gives me the biggest thrill - it is an additional loss of 1.1cm since last weigh in - all those squats and skips paying off clearly).
Hips: We finally, finally, finally have a change in measurement.  Remember we have been having moerse changes in clothes, but not actual buggering tape measure stuff? Well today is a loss of 2.1cm around el arso and hipsicles!
Calf: -1.7cm.  Again, I am happy with this figure.  I have "hilly" calves after all - which in reality means that they are not up and down, but shapely and rounded. They are also pretty much solid muscle. On this subject, I also, according to the all knowing Divine, have teardrop muscles on my upper legs - something highly sought after apparently.  These are a blessing (because they show the strength in your leg, but also give your leg a really nice shape) and a curse (straight up and down legs look thinner, clearly.)

So what does it all come down to?

2 x puppies = 4.6kg

2 x bunnies = 3.2kg

1 x fat 4kg pissed off cat

I have now lost two puppies, two bunnies and one fat pissed off cat.  That doesn't suck!

Spot you on the flipside my beauties.
T
x