The body shots, the duck billed platypus and season's greetings!

Almost a month since I last wrote to you!  Apologies for the neglect, but things have been pretty busy at work and although I have been training like a demon, there hasn't been too much to report on.

Where do I start?  Ok, so armed with my latest measurements, as well as my new weight loss goal of 20kg in mind, it was time to get rid of the last 2kg before the Hitman headed off into the distance for his well deserved holiday.

Some of the training sucked. Big time.  But some really didn't! I had a huge amount of fun when Divine added a new element to our MMA sessions.  He has now included a belly protector type pad thing (technical term) into our training sessions.  Which means that, instead of me just hitting pads which he holds up in the air, I punch the living crap out of Divine himself - jabs and hooks and more jabs!  Hard.  With everything I have.  I am more used to body shots which include tequila, lemon and salt but, truly, it's brilliant!!!  I have to actually think about the punches I am going to throw - like a real fighter! And he makes it even more interesting by dancing around, exhaling loudly when I connect (which just so happens to be regularly), dodging my punches, coming at me like a kamikaze warrior so I can lay in with a volley of body shots - the whole tutti frutti! We look so professional, I shit you not!  Ok, in all fairness he is a professional, but even I feel impressive when we do this! And boy do I sweat!  It is a brilliant workout and adds a different feel to our sessions.  After a few "rounds" I can barely lift my arms anymore.  Such. Much. Fun!

Although we had decided that we would only do one final weigh in and measure session before Divine buggered off on holiday I decided, during the course of last week, that I would brave the scale to see how much I still had to go before reaching the 20kg goal.  Turns out that we had, in the meantime, reached said goal!  I was super stoked and couldn't wait to tell Divine.  Big frikking mistake!  At first it was all good as we discussed the weight loss issue and decided that, although we (I) still want to lose a few more kilos, we would now be focussed on toning and working on specific areas.  Let me interject here and say that I have become incredibly critical of my body.  Initially I was quite impressed, and did a lot of duck face posing in front of the mirror inspecting new found shapes and stuff, but now all I see are the problem areas, of which there are many.  Anyway, bottom line is that the areas I am still unhappy with are definitely my tummy (which, although down substantially, is a wobbly puddle of jelly):

my two little inner thigh love handle thingies:

Pretend this is me  (it's not, but just pretend) that bit she is squishing - that bit pisses me off no end!

And my arms still need some work.

Ok let's NOT pretend this is me, cos it's not (I promise), but you get my point right?

So that having been said, and a plan in mind, Divine decided to "reward" me with a "free weight" session.  The weight in question?  Oh, only the mother flowering 20kgs I had just lost!  Divine's argument was that I started with that, so shouldn't have too much of a problem carrying it around!  I had to lift the weight, jog back and forth with the buggering weight, and do hamstring thingies with it.  I gotta tell you - 20kg is heavier than it looks!

Posing with the 20kg weight

KAK heavy! Seriously!

It seems that Divine's current torture of choice - which focusses on said specific problem areas - involves exercising with free weights and something called (I think) DOMS (not sure exactly of the abbreviation but it goes something along the lines of Delayed Onset Muscle Stiffness or Soreness or Stress or something like that).  What it means, in layman terms, is that you train and think (erroneously) "ag man please, this is a piece of old takkie" and then between 12 to 24 hours later you start to become a little stiff and sore, but still not too bad.  Then, over the following 24 hours, your body seizes completely and reverts to its old favourite - George Burns style!!  You then limp and hop and squeal in agony for at least another 48 hours.

It's funny though because people seem to be surprised that, even after all this time and so much training, I still get stiff and sore. The way I figure it though is that when you stop feeling any sort of pain or stiffness, you have stopped pushing yourself and need to change your workout (or your trainer).  The point is, I reckon, to continue setting goals and working hard towards them.

With only one week to go before Divine leaves, it was time to do our final measure for the year.  Not much has happened really, with most of the measurements staying more or less the same.  The only noticeable change is a further 2cm loss around my waist.  Which is super welcome because we have really been pushing the ab workouts!  And of course the 20kg weight loss goal which I have achieved.  So, my weight loss in farm and other odd animals at this point is as follows:

A 2kg rooster

A 4kg lamb

4kg Duck Billed Platypus

A 1.4kg Mallard Duck

A 2.6kg Sphinx Cat

And a 6kg koala chilling on a log!

So to wrap up:  At this stage I have lost a rooster, a lamb, a duck billed platypus, a mallard duck, a sphynx kitty and a koala in a pear tree.  Ok so it's not a pear tree, but tis the season people, go with me here!

And on that note, this will be my final post for 2012 - go forth, my feathery friends, and eat, drink and be merry!  I will hopefully have some interesting stories to share with you in 2013 about all the chicken-up-a-turkey's-arse-up-a-duck's-arse which I will have eaten, not to mention the many festive sips of sherry!  This is assuming of course that we make it past our next scheduled "end of days" on 21/12/2012!  

Till then, be safe, be loved and be dead sexy!

Cheers!

T
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