The Agony, The Shattered Goal and The Camel-Syndrome

I have tried to figure out a way to put into words how much pain I endured over the past week - and at the same time try not to sound like a complete baby!  My last update ended after last Monday's workout - with Divine having concentrated (at my stupidly idiotic request) on my bum and legs.  What followed on Tuesday was insane.  To the great amusement of my horrible, uncaring personal trainer (!!) I hobbled and limped my way into gym that morning.  Fleeting verbal expressions of sympathy from Divine quickly gave way to revealing his true evil intentions.  No, we were not going to work on my upper body to give my aching lower body a break.  We were going to push forth across barriers not yet traversed by (wo)man .... ok maybe some (wo)man has gone there before, but I am not that particular (wo)man!  The first half of the session was, once again, centred around bum and legs - whilst planking (so to speak) in a "push up" position.  So imagine this, if you would - there I was, resting my entire upper body weight on my hands, whipping my legs back and forth and up and down and sideways and around about the place - at the same time trying to see through the buckets of sweat pouring down my face, gasping lungfuls of air into my burning lungs, and trying to ignore the agonising pain in my hamstrings and bum.  It got to the point - even with Divine being all encouraging and telling me not to give up (bloody hell) and reminding me that weigh-in was mere days away (low blow, let's face it) - that I almost reached my quitting point.  I was at the stage, physically and mentally, that even if I had been told that stopping would mean I would immediately gain 5kg, I wouldn't have cared.  Buggered people - completely and absolutely buggered.  This man is, however, nothing if not a professional and he could see that I had reached my limit.  No worries for our good friend Divine though: he allowed me what felt like a millisecond to gather my dignity off the floor, do the de-wedgie thing, mop the sweat from my brow and suck down a little water, before commencing with the second half of the workout - abs.

The rest of that day, and the day which followed, was a blur of Arnica, Deep Heat and various other forms of self-medication. I was even too sore to make it to gym on Wednesday morning, which has got to give you an idea of the extent of my suffering!  Sitting down and standing up were the biggest issues, you see.  Oh my gosh, and you should have seen me getting in and out of the car!  In order to sit down, I needed to hold on to something with both hands, aim my bum in the general area of the place I hoped to land (which caused me some trauma when going to pee), slowly squat down a centimetre at a time and then just let go, falling (hopefully) into place - all the while trying to stifle the scream brewing in the back of my throat.  Standing was marginally easier but I would be left teetering in place whilst waiting for the waves of pain to subside.  After a few steps things would thankfully loosen up a little and I would be able to, eventually, walk without looking like I had a carrot (or bunch thereof) firmly embedded in ye ol' starfish!

On Thursday I braved returning to gym (after sending Divine strict instructions, by sms, that no bum or leg work would be tolerated).  Apparently listening to me was not part of his Thursday modus operandi and, although he started off with ab work, he progressed quickly to leg work - all in an attempt (so he said) to loosen up the muscles a bit and provide some relief from the pain.  Pffft.  Ja right!  I also had to pose for a pic on Thursday - but will tell you more about that sometime soon!

On Friday I worked on the cardio aspect of training - with weigh-in imminent I need to try burn off some of the tonnage.  I have to say though that this is the part I find most difficult. Running on the treadmill, or using the elliptical machine, or cycling for an entire session - even with music blaring through my earphones - is so frikking boring! Mindnumbingly so.  I get that it is essential, and that it helps with toning and weight loss, but really now?   Blah blah blah!  It did help loosen the stiff muscles and alleviate the pain somewhat so I s'pose Divine does know what he is talking about ...

On Sunday Chloe and I hit the gym and went through a major boot camp session.  Of course I had to try prove that I could keep up with my 13 year old ultra sporty offspring without collapsing in a puddle on the floor.  I held my own, pushing her beyond what she would normally do, and then proceeded to kick her arse (in everything but abs - gosh that girl has abs of steel).  Yes, I know - using my children to validate my own self-worth and pump up the ego is not necessarily considered good parenting.  Oh well!!

My eating regime has generally been pretty good, although I seem to have been awfully hungry lately.  I do however try to go the healthy route when snacking, including my fat free (not sugar free) marshmallows. Although I am still not having my allowable 3 cheat meals a week, I admit that this past weekend did include a starter portion of spicy nachos (so yum) and a Mango Krusher - 24 hours before a weigh in! Not necessarily my best decision.

And then the dreaded Monday arrived.  So here's how this goes.  I am not going to give you a breakdown of the centimetres as I normally would, because not very much has changed.  I have lost a little more around the arm, chest and thighs, and (horrors) gained a centimetre or so around the waist and bum.  Here's the thing though - I am sometimes more camel than I am human and occasionally store a little water in case of drought.  Where is the obvious place to store your emergency water supply?  In your humps!  And anyway, I am not a machine, I am a woman - swings and roundabouts people, swings and roundabouts.

But the good news (yes, there is indeed good news) is weight.  No, I have not lost 15kg.

I have in fact passed the 15kg goal and moved swiftly on to Sweet 16:

A loss, since the last weigh in, of 2.1kg.  My menagerie has therefore grown as follows:

4.6kg

2 x bunnies - 3.2kg

1 pissed off 4kg cat

2 x Hawaiian Geese = 4.2kg!

To date I have lost 2 puppies, 2 bunnies, 2 geese and a pissed off cat. I am extremely proud of myself.  16kg is a whack of weight and I have worked bloody hard to get it off.  Of course I still want to lose more - another 2kg before my birthday hopefully, and another 5 - 8kg (slowly) after that.  But for now I am just going to breathe in deeply, smile broadly, maybe do the occasionally happy dance and know that my hard work is paying off - which is all anyone can ask for really.
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